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woman's faceWanna know why it’s so hard to treat yourself nicely? (aka ‘do self-care’)

Self-Care implies that there is something “wrong” or “broken” about a person. Think about it… when you CARE for someone it’s because they are less than 100% in some capacity.

In my world that’s NO-NO #1!

BIG SECRET: There is nothing wrong with you.

The moment we think there is something wrong with us, that we are “incomplete” or “not whole” in someway, we judge ourselves, belittle ourselves, feel guilty.

It may lead us to make changes. But how often do those changes stick? Statistics show…not long.

But then comes a vicious cycle. You fail, you don’t feel good about yourself. You judge yourself and then give up all together. Right? That’s why self-care doesn’t work.

Do this instead…See Yourself As Whole And Complete.

So do that. Right now. Decide to see yourself as completely whole. 100%. If you sit down right now and take a deep breath, you’ll notice that you are alive. You can’t be alive if you aren’t whole.

Congratulations, girlfriend. You are WHOLE!

Now, the second step is to acknowledge this…

Everything is the way it is, NOT because you aren’t complete [read: good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough], but simply because the choices you have made so far haven’t served who you want to be.

Let’s recap:
Step 1: Decide to see yourself as WHOLE. You are complete.
Step 2: Acknowledge that up until now a lot of the choices you’ve made in your life haven’t served who you want to be.

If you’ve gotten this far, you might be thinking, Okay, now what?…
The choices you’ve made up until now have served who you think you are. Not who you really are.

Here’s what it might have looked like in the past:

You decide you want to lose weight so you start to eat less and exercise more. Probably you’re also secretly telling yourself “Oh gosh, this is going to be hard. I’ve got too much to lose…it will never come off. I am SO not a healthy eater. I do NOT exercise. I’m going to hate this.”

You do really well for the first couple days…even the first couple of weeks…but then something happens and it all falls to pieces. You blame the holidays, your busy schedule, your family, or whatever. Am I close?

At first glance it may look like you were right… your weight will never come off. But let’s look at it again. Failure is built in from the start.

How? Motive. Most people’s motive to make a change in their life is based on who they are not…instead of who they want to be. We chose to lose weight because we don’t like who we are…

You’re not a skinny super model so you have to lose weight. You’re not the millionaire mommy so you have to make more money. You aren’t this so you have to do that.

No wonder people aren’t making changes that stick!
Here’s the new way…

Start with who you want to be (aka who you truly are) and go from there. Right now. Write down who you want to be.

Go on…I’ll wait right here.

beep…

bop…

boop…

Did you write down who you want to be DESPITE any “you can’t do that”, “it’s going to be too hard”, “that’ll never happen” talk in your head?

Yes? Great!

No? Don’t worry. I’m about to dish it up in bite-size pieces.

It’s important that who you want to be lines up with who you truly are. I learned this last weekend at a super powerful training on finding our Divine Purpose.

If you want to know more about what ‘divine purpose’ means, email me now: lee(at)leesirwin(dot)com

Check your motive before we move on. Is it naughty or nice?

Now… make a list of 10 things you’ll do once you have become that person.

Here’s what I mean…
Motive: “I’m moving toward having a healthy, strong body”
(so I can go on long walks with my husband and feel like going out with my girlfriends on the weekend)

When I’m a healthier, stronger woman, I’ll…
1) Be active 4 times a week with my children
2) Go on long walks with my husband twice a week
3) Play my favorite dance tunes (and wiggle) while I’m cooking dinner
4) Thank my body for all the ways it has loved me over the years
… all the way up to 10

Sweet! Look at the list. Which ones can you already do (be) now? Today? This week? You’ve got a List that has real Self-Care infused into it!

Nice! That’s your Brighten-Up Tip for this week. Pick one thing you’ll practice, based on who you want to be vs. who are think you are.

To knowing there’s nothing wrong with us, and never has been…

Lee

P.S. – Want to know more about “who you want to be = who you truly are”? E-mail me now: lee(at)leesirwin(dot)com

lack of directionHave you ever felt that there’s just not enough time in the day? Most often, when we run out of time for projects or pursuits, the reason is that we’ve spent a lot of time lost in ambiguity.

When you’re supremely clear about where you’re going and what you want to do, there’s no time lost. Your actions are clear & precise, and you can make an AMAZING amount of progress in just a short period of time.

Fortunately, it’s pretty easy to eliminate the time-management nightmare.

1.     Plan your work.

Take a few moments to determine where you’re going and how you plan to get there. You don’t have to know all the steps or details; just write down the basic outline as you can see it.

2.     Gather your resources.

Get your tools in order. Make sure you have food & water and anything else you need to get started. What do you need to do this job right? Get it.

3.     Work your plan.

Give yourself a deadline, then follow your outline step-by-step. If you get lost or distracted, come back to your outline and see what’s next.

Before long you will have a finished product or project, and plenty of time to relax or do something else…like stare out the window for 20 minutes.

 

What are YOU going to do TODAY?

sand dunesSleeping Bear Dunes in Northwest Michigan is a place to be reckoned with. I visited the park with my boyfriend one summer when I was in my twenties. I wore a pair of flip-flops and gripped a 12-oz bottle of water. Eyeing the first dune, it occurred to me that maybe I should have done my homework. It was a monster dune, peaking at about 150 ft .

We trekked up the dune, and then down the other side. Sixteen minutes walking in soft sand. No problem. We were rewarded with a second dune, equally intimidating. Another quarter of an hour. Already the water had run out and my feet were blistered where they slipped off my sandals onto the hot sand.

Still, the first three or four dunes were fun. The next five to eight were challenging. My calves and glutes burned as hot as the sand. After that, I hardly remember. Every time I reached the top of a dune, I expected to be rewarded with a view of the lake. Instead, I faced another dune.

Only sheer will, or stubbornness, kept me going. I would not turn back before reaching Lake Michigan. I lost count of the number of dunes. Straight up, straight down, the final one peaking at over 400 ft.

Later that night, as I nursed my blisters, my boyfriend rattled on about the continental glaciers that had spread south from Canada, eventually forming the dunes we had climbed. He marveled at the vast and unique contours seen from atop each dune and wondered at the beach grasses and sand cherry that grew there.

In my single-minded determination to reach the great lake, I hadn’t seen it. Not any of it.

I had forgotten a simple truth. “It’s not the destination so much as the journey.” Captain Jack Sparrow/Pirates of the Caribbean

What have you missed in the quest to meet YOUR goals?

Play for Life: A Feel-Good Guide to Boost Your Brain Power, Spark Your Creativity and Inspire More Fun

Do you want to play?

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