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Recovering people pleaserThe key to failure is trying to please everybody. ~Bill Cosby

A healthy boundary is like an energy bubble that protects your mind, body, and spirit from negative influences.

Think back to a situation when you felt angry, frustrated, or resentful. Got one? If you’re human, you do.

Now look for clues to the kinds of boundaries you coulda-woulda-shoulda set in the past.

 

Did you feel a bit like a doormat in that situation?

 

To set a healthy boundary with another person you’ll need:
1. A friend to support you before and after the conversation

2. Language to set the boundary gracefully and honestly

3. To make a direct request

 

Remember, when setting boundaries you cannot control another person’s response or behavior.

You can only deliver the message with as much grace and compassion as you can.

 

And don’t forget JADE: You don’t need to justify, argue, defend or (over)explain your position. Your needs are always valid.

Start with the easy boundaries. It will probably feel uncomfortable when you first start setting them. As you get stronger, tackle the more challenging ones.

Back up your boundaries with action. If you relax your boundaries by giving in, you invite people to ignore your needs.

 

Some people think of boundaries as walls. I prefer to think of them as doors with the doorknob on my side.

 

What do you think of boundaries?

Comments welcome!

Have they made your life easier? Or harder in some way?

 

 

  1. You don’t realize the need to change. The biggest mistake women over 40 make? Doing the same things they’ve been doing for decades. Hair, makeup, and clothing that helped you look fantastic in your younger years no longer work for you as you grow older. It’s all about discovering and correcting those mistakes so they don’t sabotage you in your career or love life, or stop you from living your greatness.
I want for you what YOU want for you - to feel as fabulous as you truly are!

I want for you what YOU want for you – to feel as fabulous as you truly are!

2.    You’re wearing jersey fabric. Jersey fabric doesn’t create the best shape, in part because it’s as clingy as it is comfortable. If you love jersey, go for a draped or ruched option that grazes your curves and strategically hides any bulges. Another option: double-knit jersey, which is a denser quality fabric that still has a bit of stretch for comfort. Or choose a slightly more tailored piece, like a sheath dress, which gives the illusion of structure but is a forgiving cut for most women.

3.    You’re hiding your neck.

neckline

It seems like an easy fix: Cover as much of the neck as possible with a turtleneck. But a better choice is a V-neck or scoop neck, which draws the eye to your décolletage (as long as it doesn’t show cleavage). Collared shirts or an open ‘mandarin’ collar draw attention away from the neck area while giving a little more coverage.

necklace

You might also choose a statement necklace that sits a little longer.    Avoid chokers and pick a style that’s at least 22 inches long.

Are you ready to meet your most beautiful, confident self?

Lee Irwin is the Fountain of YOU expert. Treat yourself to more of Lee’s secret tips and tricks =>www.girl-friended.com/freegift

Let your light shine

Over time, fear, exhaustion and shame can dim the brightest of lights. That is why we must, at all times, do what we can to keep that flame inside burning bright, choose the path of light and love, and allow our brilliance to be seen.

Fortunately, there are plenty of tools that you can use to rekindle your spark every day, and here are just a few to help you out.

1.     Express your gratitude daily.

Tell the people around you that you appreciate them. Give thanks for the food you eat and the roof that you sleep under. Smile. Gratitude magnifies your feelings of goodwill, helping you stay focused on the good stuff.

 2.    Exercise often.

Sweating and moving for just 20 minutes a day has been clinically shown to improve your mood & boost your health. Try a yoga class, ride your bike around town, or go for a swim, and you’ll easily chase away the grumps.

3.     Meditate every morning.

Spending time in silence reconnects you with your source of self-awareness, self-assuredness & happiness. It’s also been shown to greatly reduce stress & improve communication.

What can YOU do to shine a little brighter TODAY?

Play for Life: A Feel-Good Guide to Boost Your Brain Power, Spark Your Creativity and Inspire More Fun

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