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woman's faceWanna know why it’s so hard to treat yourself nicely? (aka ‘do self-care’)

Self-Care implies that there is something “wrong” or “broken” about a person. Think about it… when you CARE for someone it’s because they are less than 100% in some capacity.

In my world that’s NO-NO #1!

BIG SECRET: There is nothing wrong with you.

The moment we think there is something wrong with us, that we are “incomplete” or “not whole” in someway, we judge ourselves, belittle ourselves, feel guilty.

It may lead us to make changes. But how often do those changes stick? Statistics show…not long.

But then comes a vicious cycle. You fail, you don’t feel good about yourself. You judge yourself and then give up all together. Right? That’s why self-care doesn’t work.

Do this instead…See Yourself As Whole And Complete.

So do that. Right now. Decide to see yourself as completely whole. 100%. If you sit down right now and take a deep breath, you’ll notice that you are alive. You can’t be alive if you aren’t whole.

Congratulations, girlfriend. You are WHOLE!

Now, the second step is to acknowledge this…

Everything is the way it is, NOT because you aren’t complete [read: good enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough], but simply because the choices you have made so far haven’t served who you want to be.

Let’s recap:
Step 1: Decide to see yourself as WHOLE. You are complete.
Step 2: Acknowledge that up until now a lot of the choices you’ve made in your life haven’t served who you want to be.

If you’ve gotten this far, you might be thinking, Okay, now what?…
The choices you’ve made up until now have served who you think you are. Not who you really are.

Here’s what it might have looked like in the past:

You decide you want to lose weight so you start to eat less and exercise more. Probably you’re also secretly telling yourself “Oh gosh, this is going to be hard. I’ve got too much to lose…it will never come off. I am SO not a healthy eater. I do NOT exercise. I’m going to hate this.”

You do really well for the first couple days…even the first couple of weeks…but then something happens and it all falls to pieces. You blame the holidays, your busy schedule, your family, or whatever. Am I close?

At first glance it may look like you were right… your weight will never come off. But let’s look at it again. Failure is built in from the start.

How? Motive. Most people’s motive to make a change in their life is based on who they are not…instead of who they want to be. We chose to lose weight because we don’t like who we are…

You’re not a skinny super model so you have to lose weight. You’re not the millionaire mommy so you have to make more money. You aren’t this so you have to do that.

No wonder people aren’t making changes that stick!
Here’s the new way…

Start with who you want to be (aka who you truly are) and go from there. Right now. Write down who you want to be.

Go on…I’ll wait right here.

beep…

bop…

boop…

Did you write down who you want to be DESPITE any “you can’t do that”, “it’s going to be too hard”, “that’ll never happen” talk in your head?

Yes? Great!

No? Don’t worry. I’m about to dish it up in bite-size pieces.

It’s important that who you want to be lines up with who you truly are. I learned this last weekend at a super powerful training on finding our Divine Purpose.

If you want to know more about what ‘divine purpose’ means, email me now: lee(at)leesirwin(dot)com

Check your motive before we move on. Is it naughty or nice?

Now… make a list of 10 things you’ll do once you have become that person.

Here’s what I mean…
Motive: “I’m moving toward having a healthy, strong body”
(so I can go on long walks with my husband and feel like going out with my girlfriends on the weekend)

When I’m a healthier, stronger woman, I’ll…
1) Be active 4 times a week with my children
2) Go on long walks with my husband twice a week
3) Play my favorite dance tunes (and wiggle) while I’m cooking dinner
4) Thank my body for all the ways it has loved me over the years
… all the way up to 10

Sweet! Look at the list. Which ones can you already do (be) now? Today? This week? You’ve got a List that has real Self-Care infused into it!

Nice! That’s your Brighten-Up Tip for this week. Pick one thing you’ll practice, based on who you want to be vs. who are think you are.

To knowing there’s nothing wrong with us, and never has been…

Lee

P.S. – Want to know more about “who you want to be = who you truly are”? E-mail me now: lee(at)leesirwin(dot)com

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Holiday lightsOkay, last week week we decided to change “self-care” to ”brighten-up” and I told you I would tell you why…

Brighten-up? What in tarnation are you talkin’ about?!

 

 

First, it’s important you get what self-care REALLY is so when you learn why I changed the name it all makes sense. (Don’t worry, sistah…I will never leave you in the dark).

We tend to view self-care as massages, weekend getaways, chunks of time away from kids, etc. These are all good, but self-care can happen at any given moment no matter what is swirling around us.

That’s why we should replace the word self-care with something else. (Later in this post you’ll learn my #1 quickest method to rejuvenate yourself…no matter where you are).

You know what? Self-care is simply HONORING YOURSELF. It’s listening to your body, mind, and spirit. When any of those parts feel down we take action to lift it up…or “brighten-up”. Just like the phrase “freshen up” implies, “brighten-up” can happen relatively quickly with minimal effort and produce remarkable results.

Brighten-up, schmighten-up…what’s the big deal?!

All women know what happens when we don’t freshen up… we LOOK run down, exhausted, and overworked. Let’s tell the truth here. When women don’t brighten-up…we FEEL run down, exhausted, and overworked.

Zoikes! Have you ever felt that way? Especially during the holiday season?

Hey, no surprise here. I could go on for days about WHY we do that. But what really matters is HOW to quickly and easily turn it all around. Here’s the HOW…

The #1 Quickest Method To Rejuvenate Yourself…No Matter Where You Are

***This works best if you are feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, upset, scared, or any negative kind of emotion…

Step 1: No matter where you are, be there. Be fully present to you. Even if you don’t think you can be, you can.
Step 2: Ask yourself “Oh, Honey, it seems you’re getting frustrated (or whatever emotion you are feeling)…what’s happening in your body because of that?
Step 3: Notice any physical sensations that pop up in your body. It may be a heavy feeling in your chest, a knot in your stomach, or something completely different.
Step 4: Be present to the feeling without trying to get rid of it. Just notice it. (you may find yourself “breathing into” the feeling…that’s good too)
Step 5: Stay with it. You’re doing great…even when you feel silly or uncomfortable.
Step 6: Stay with it some more… that’s right. Stay with it just like you would your upset son who fell off his bike and hurt his knee. Just be present to it.
Step 7: Remember: you only think an eternity has passed. It’s really only been 30 seconds.
Step 8: Once the feeling is gone you will find you are much more peaceful, focused, and calm.

**BAM** INSTANT REJUVENATOR!!!

That’s my absolute #1 best “brighten-up” strategy…

Next time, we will be talking about how this can bring more than just peace of mind. I’m talkin’ $$$!!!

  1. You don’t realize the need to change. The biggest mistake women over 40 make? Doing the same things they’ve been doing for decades. Hair, makeup, and clothing that helped you look fantastic in your younger years no longer work for you as you grow older. It’s all about discovering and correcting those mistakes so they don’t sabotage you in your career or love life, or stop you from living your greatness.
I want for you what YOU want for you - to feel as fabulous as you truly are!

I want for you what YOU want for you – to feel as fabulous as you truly are!

2.    You’re wearing jersey fabric. Jersey fabric doesn’t create the best shape, in part because it’s as clingy as it is comfortable. If you love jersey, go for a draped or ruched option that grazes your curves and strategically hides any bulges. Another option: double-knit jersey, which is a denser quality fabric that still has a bit of stretch for comfort. Or choose a slightly more tailored piece, like a sheath dress, which gives the illusion of structure but is a forgiving cut for most women.

3.    You’re hiding your neck.

neckline

It seems like an easy fix: Cover as much of the neck as possible with a turtleneck. But a better choice is a V-neck or scoop neck, which draws the eye to your décolletage (as long as it doesn’t show cleavage). Collared shirts or an open ‘mandarin’ collar draw attention away from the neck area while giving a little more coverage.

necklace

You might also choose a statement necklace that sits a little longer.    Avoid chokers and pick a style that’s at least 22 inches long.

Are you ready to meet your most beautiful, confident self?

Lee Irwin is the Fountain of YOU expert. Treat yourself to more of Lee’s secret tips and tricks =>www.girl-friended.com/freegift

Play for Life: A Feel-Good Guide to Boost Your Brain Power, Spark Your Creativity and Inspire More Fun

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